Resolutions for 2010

I think I'm getting too old too quickly.

Perhaps working in an environment surrounded by wise older people is doing that to me. Work becomes my 24/7 preoccupation, and I'm starting to see how unhealthy that can be for someone my age. 28. This year.

I started out in a situation where I was constantly in awe with the ideas, eloquence, quick wit and stature of the four senior directors whom I work directly for. The only woman of the four -- she's just inspiring! She's a gifted writer, works efficiently from home while she takes care of her 3 beautiful girls, slim and stylish to a fault, usually in monocrome and high gladiator heels.

Many more months into the job, I'm starting to grow into my own title, space and purpose. I'm less doe eyed, and constantly "knocked" into place by my other director -- who, I think, is trying to mentor me for leadership -- that I should be "less nice, less sweet, and more ballsy". I feel like a kopi order sometimes -- "less sugar, less milk, more kao". I'm thankful that he has taken me under his wing. I'm given more opportunities, noticed more and invited to more work events meant for high level folks.

Work wise, I love my job. There, I finally found work that I love, and I don't mind being teathered to my desk. I have three varied portfolios -- speechwriting, international relations and a conference (for the Youth Olympic Games) -- each with their own demands, challenges and (yes... shallow me) bragging rights. I've also a back-to-back promotion and a raise, which is rare for an SG semi-public institution. I travel for work once every quarter. I'm one of the youngest in this rank, in a work force of over 2000 people, and in the highest office working with the President and Vice President. I should have a higher paycheck though. :P

Yet, I'm not 100% thankful as I should be. I've always had a confidence issue. A little voice tells me they made the wrong decision, that they just had no time to find someone else to take on all these portfolios, I'm not eloquent, that I'm too fat.

Before more of the self-bashing goes on, here are my resolutions for 2010:

1) For me

Quiet thinking time was one of the great things I enjoyed during university years. I used to take hour-long walks to the reserves everyday and I think about my theories, papers and lessons. I'd like to do that again. I'll take myself out for dates where it is a solitary walk in the park, reading in a cafe or even shopping by myself.

Speaking of reading in a cafe, I'll aim to read 2 books for every 3 months. I know this sounds little, but I need to make a minimum commitment, and this is it.

This March, I'll be moving into a new, although smaller home. I plan to make it my space and fill the walls with pictures and have personal touches all around.

By mid year, I will aim to put my leg around my ear, and by end year, I will be able to do the crow pose effortlessly. This is for my yoga practice.

2) For friends

I'll also aim to spend more time with my friends, whom I've neglected because of work.

This also means that I plan to host a meal at my new home, and I aim to do this every other month at the very least.

3) For work

"Pro Bono" work in terms of speechwriting consults, and/or set up a "all payment will go to charity" online speechwriting consult service.

I will also read more current affairs and opinion pieces. An enlightened speechwriter writes enlighted speeches. Also, my political science degree makes me a target for too many questions about world politics at dinners and mixers. I don't like sounding ignorant! :)

Currently, my portfolio is too varied. By the end of the year, I will choose the area where I'm most effective, and work towards obtaining a higher degree to have an area of work specialisation.

and finally,

I will start being more conscious about what I wear to work. As they say, dress for success, and I'm quite certain that dressing up will bring back the "vain" me, and help me lose weight in the long run.