Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
A little glimmer of opportunity
A Tiny Glimmer of Opportunity
NUS called me this morning, (hopefully) for the last round of interview. I must admit it is getting tiresome should they continue to meet up with me for intense philosophical/strategy questioning sessions and more writing tests. I don't mind the discussions and the people are lovely - but not in a situation where I should feel tested. Under extreme pressure, I have to recall Amartya Sen, Samuel Huntington and specifics from Thomas Friedman.
The director has mentioned that they just wanted to go through some "new-developments" for the portfolio I am applying for before giving me the offer. I guess I shall take that as a good sign.
I pray all goes well tomorrow. It's been a long process from start till now... a whole 6 weeks!
And I can't wait to get out of unemployment!
NUS called me this morning, (hopefully) for the last round of interview. I must admit it is getting tiresome should they continue to meet up with me for intense philosophical/strategy questioning sessions and more writing tests. I don't mind the discussions and the people are lovely - but not in a situation where I should feel tested. Under extreme pressure, I have to recall Amartya Sen, Samuel Huntington and specifics from Thomas Friedman.
The director has mentioned that they just wanted to go through some "new-developments" for the portfolio I am applying for before giving me the offer. I guess I shall take that as a good sign.
I pray all goes well tomorrow. It's been a long process from start till now... a whole 6 weeks!
And I can't wait to get out of unemployment!
Monday, August 27, 2007
great people
What makes a great man great?
(or woman, for that matter)
I love watching The West Wing. Actors have a fast pace of witty lines, and can recall varied facts and figures. I also love the fact that so many jargons and technicalities from university political philosophy days are being used. Sort of makes me feel as if there was a real-ness to what was being studied, rather than just pure theory.
Or maybe theory is still just theory. But a life being able to strategically make decisions on a wide range of society influencing policies, improving healthcare, declaring wars and irradiacating poverty must do a lot on one's consciousness for living - having such importance of existence.
I do crave limelight. Not the Mariah Carey way. Not to say that my name is to be known or to be uttered by everyone but to just be close enough to power and influence decisions even if it is to the smallest social detail or liking.
Only a small percentage of capable people exist in the world. Spectacular individuals are less, and growing fewer over time.
I'm not one of the *extraordinary people out there. And this very thought saddens me so. I mean, Mahatma was going on hunger strikes, here I am cooking dinner parties. I'm more selfish than selfless. More glamour than *dirty work.
And other than sacrifice, there is so much self doubt on ability. While writing would be a major skill set required for my career goals, am I really able to write clearly and well enough? Passion and performance are not exactly always linked in a person.
Of course there will be critics, and of course there is always a way (in this case, self training and practice... or maybe even a course on writing). It is the 'hard' that makes it great. And dreams often don't come handed to us on a silver platter.
But I often wonder if the great men & women had it this hard. To be more precise, I doubt any are as indecisive, not confident, all-talk-no-action (because I simply don't know what next!) like me.
Recently, I heard of a friend's friend who quit her job to intern (for free) at a unknown free-magazine. According to the friend, she was doing so to pursue her dream to write. Three months later and no offer from the under publicised free-magazine, she had to take the next best offer to do administrative work at a totally unrelated field, simply because it is the only option left. From no-pay to under-paid.
I wish I knew this friend's friend well enough to tell her what a silly idea that was, interning when you have already graduated and at an unknown institution at that.
I wished there was a critic-o-matic to assess my career plans too. Silly or realistic?
Due to unconventional ties with my parents (they don't know I'm unemployed), a boyfriend who I now view as supportive rather than an unbiased critic, and friends who I can now predict their answers rather than to get a fair assessment... I really must say I don't know.
So blind hopes lead me and I wish there was a sign to measure future success (I also wonder if I would feel better if I hear from a fortune teller, saying I had a good career in front of me?).
(or woman, for that matter)
I love watching The West Wing. Actors have a fast pace of witty lines, and can recall varied facts and figures. I also love the fact that so many jargons and technicalities from university political philosophy days are being used. Sort of makes me feel as if there was a real-ness to what was being studied, rather than just pure theory.
Or maybe theory is still just theory. But a life being able to strategically make decisions on a wide range of society influencing policies, improving healthcare, declaring wars and irradiacating poverty must do a lot on one's consciousness for living - having such importance of existence.
I do crave limelight. Not the Mariah Carey way. Not to say that my name is to be known or to be uttered by everyone but to just be close enough to power and influence decisions even if it is to the smallest social detail or liking.
Only a small percentage of capable people exist in the world. Spectacular individuals are less, and growing fewer over time.
I'm not one of the *extraordinary people out there. And this very thought saddens me so. I mean, Mahatma was going on hunger strikes, here I am cooking dinner parties. I'm more selfish than selfless. More glamour than *dirty work.
And other than sacrifice, there is so much self doubt on ability. While writing would be a major skill set required for my career goals, am I really able to write clearly and well enough? Passion and performance are not exactly always linked in a person.
Of course there will be critics, and of course there is always a way (in this case, self training and practice... or maybe even a course on writing). It is the 'hard' that makes it great. And dreams often don't come handed to us on a silver platter.
But I often wonder if the great men & women had it this hard. To be more precise, I doubt any are as indecisive, not confident, all-talk-no-action (because I simply don't know what next!) like me.
Recently, I heard of a friend's friend who quit her job to intern (for free) at a unknown free-magazine. According to the friend, she was doing so to pursue her dream to write. Three months later and no offer from the under publicised free-magazine, she had to take the next best offer to do administrative work at a totally unrelated field, simply because it is the only option left. From no-pay to under-paid.
I wish I knew this friend's friend well enough to tell her what a silly idea that was, interning when you have already graduated and at an unknown institution at that.
I wished there was a critic-o-matic to assess my career plans too. Silly or realistic?
Due to unconventional ties with my parents (they don't know I'm unemployed), a boyfriend who I now view as supportive rather than an unbiased critic, and friends who I can now predict their answers rather than to get a fair assessment... I really must say I don't know.
So blind hopes lead me and I wish there was a sign to measure future success (I also wonder if I would feel better if I hear from a fortune teller, saying I had a good career in front of me?).
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Mild Panic Attacks
Mild Panic Attacks: Anxieties from the State of Joblessness
So here's the reality of my jobless situation: I've a relatively unhealthy balance in my bank account (never really have been the saving sort), have rent and university loans to pay, living expenses including fixed facials and waxing sessions I've regrettably committed to, and have two vacations with airline tickets already bought but no independent means to pay for the vacation.
Here's the reality of the job market situation for me: I'm extremely picky with my next vocation, not motivated to send out streams of resumes (since one week of unemployment, I've sent out 2 resumes grand total!) and no one will be paying me as well as the previous job.
Penniless (thank goodness boyfriend loans exist), and falling into the lifestyle of a domestic homemaker no one will blame me for having panic attacks every now and then. I know I will never find employment if I keep this up!
The only relief is that I never have to go back to IQPC.
So here's the reality of my jobless situation: I've a relatively unhealthy balance in my bank account (never really have been the saving sort), have rent and university loans to pay, living expenses including fixed facials and waxing sessions I've regrettably committed to, and have two vacations with airline tickets already bought but no independent means to pay for the vacation.
Here's the reality of the job market situation for me: I'm extremely picky with my next vocation, not motivated to send out streams of resumes (since one week of unemployment, I've sent out 2 resumes grand total!) and no one will be paying me as well as the previous job.
Penniless (thank goodness boyfriend loans exist), and falling into the lifestyle of a domestic homemaker no one will blame me for having panic attacks every now and then. I know I will never find employment if I keep this up!
The only relief is that I never have to go back to IQPC.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
quit IQPC
100
My one-hundredth post and possibly the most shocking thing I've ever done.
I've quit my job.
Officially, as of August 15, I am jobless! Yup... no other job yet.
I'm often asked how I feel right now. Well, excited and nervous. With sporadic bursts of panic attacks.
But I'm thrilled. No regrets at all. Not even when the MD asked me to consider a promotion to be the general manager for the training department (the crazy offer is a story for another day).
And I'm taking my time to pursue the next step and discover what's good for me... you know, spiritually and overall wellbeing. That kinda stuff. =)
To tell you the truth, I'm still a little overwhelmed by this decision. I'm still hoping what I've done is still the most rational decision. There will still be jitters till I get to settle down in that close-to-dream-job at a major local institution or MNC.
In the meantime, I'm at home playing house-keeper. I'm cooking complicated dinners that require marinating, chopping and dressing up plates. I'm preparing for a major interview with NUS on Monday (that will be my 3rd interview) and I'm reading up books on how to improve my writing.
Most important, I am looking after myself. Getting enough sleep, some exercise and me-thinking time to reflect upon the past and the future.
If you're ever around Ang Mo Kio, do give a shout any time of the day.
My one-hundredth post and possibly the most shocking thing I've ever done.
I've quit my job.
Officially, as of August 15, I am jobless! Yup... no other job yet.
I'm often asked how I feel right now. Well, excited and nervous. With sporadic bursts of panic attacks.
But I'm thrilled. No regrets at all. Not even when the MD asked me to consider a promotion to be the general manager for the training department (the crazy offer is a story for another day).
And I'm taking my time to pursue the next step and discover what's good for me... you know, spiritually and overall wellbeing. That kinda stuff. =)
To tell you the truth, I'm still a little overwhelmed by this decision. I'm still hoping what I've done is still the most rational decision. There will still be jitters till I get to settle down in that close-to-dream-job at a major local institution or MNC.
In the meantime, I'm at home playing house-keeper. I'm cooking complicated dinners that require marinating, chopping and dressing up plates. I'm preparing for a major interview with NUS on Monday (that will be my 3rd interview) and I'm reading up books on how to improve my writing.
Most important, I am looking after myself. Getting enough sleep, some exercise and me-thinking time to reflect upon the past and the future.
If you're ever around Ang Mo Kio, do give a shout any time of the day.
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