Truth be told, I find myself desperately missing
Not liking change and not wanting change it was a very difficult transition to first move from my home, family and friends in Malaysia to a completely new and kiasu environment of Singapore.
Three and a half years have gone and I now find myself uprooted when I come back for the holidays.
With boxes half unpacked, and the home completely depleted of a personal essence that once made me part of the house, I am but a temporary guest.
My sister has taken over my room and had to clear space on the shelves for me and sleep meanwhile in the other room. Mum has to now cook "Phing's favourite dishes and more vegetables as she can't get them back in Sg". She's so busied despite my declaration of going on a diet. Thank goodness good ol' dad stays the same.
I miss too my daily routine, from cleaning my floors to my old evening walks and the freedom from being under the watchful eye and dictates from over-protective parents.
Daily exercise has been a bare minimal with so much pollution going on just outside my doors and crazy construction work going on at the roads. Population seems as if it has increased tenfold in my cozy little township since I've left as road jams are common and construction-in-progress highways and freeways are the only possible solution. In the house, there's barely space now-a-days for me to do my yoga as granny, mum or sis would be watching telly so I can't pop my disc for CD yoga. *Sigh, I miss my visuals of the yummy-cute-ooooh-ah-ah! yoga instructor. *Grin.
What's more, I'm really no longer used to the place I once called home. It's so uncomfortable here that even in my queen sized soft, springy bed I long for the hard one I had in PGP. I toss and turn at night and I'm so *agitated that I don't even feel like reading.
I sleep, watch telly and eat. So this is what the couch potato feels like. No wonder the body is now lethargic and I am sick. Initially it was a fever but now I am certain I am craving for a familiar space I call my own.
Days are really long. I might need to cut this *holiday short. Or get a job. Something. Anything.
It's two days till my five day trip to Bangkok and time is passing snail paced. After that, ten days till I go back to Sg and I really fear tearing my hair out before the time has passed.
Funny, considering that I've been looking forward to this since the exams.
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